Some say transitions are like waterfalls. Plunging over is not the extent of it. You have the turbulent waters before and the turbulent waters after. So when you move from one community to another, or when you uproot from one country to the other, expect some anxiety. Expect your stomach to feel unsettled.
This makes Jesus’ words in Matthew 6 all the more important: “Do not worry.” And it makes me attempt an answer to his question, “how are you trying to add more hours to your life?” Worry grows on my heart like a vine. One counselor called it, “Adolescent Paranoid Personality Disorder.” That’s a fancy way of saying, “sir your have a fortress built around your life. Loosen up.”
For me, one worry is about belonging. It takes two to tango and time for people to get to know you. Right now it is time for patience. I wonder when I’ll feel like Merton who knew he was part of a family of which he had, “no illusions.” I look back on my former days, when time and time again, it was the illusions in community, which caused the most bursting heartache.
Now is the time for the plunge. And with it comes deep transition. From the US to Scotland. From family to new neighbors (it hits me that my family hasn’t lived in Scotland for over two hundred years). From overtired administrator/ minister to new possibilities for a contemplative life. Back to being a student. I feel tossed about by transition these days when like Jonah, “the currents swirled about me; all your waves and breakers swept over me.” The plunge is coming.