For the next few days, I will continue posting a series of journal entries I made on a retreat last winter. Every six months I try and take a few days away to regroup and focus on one spiritual master. Last year, it was The Cloud of Unknowing.
Day 2: Anticipation of Snow
The day passes quickly as I read, and eat, and sleep some. I rest, no doubt, but my mind is mingled with struggle, to let my work and worries pass away in a cloud of forgetting and to come naked before my creator. This is not work for the faint hearted, coming to terms with hidden pride in places you would rather not look yet letting waves of mercy transform one’s deformed and dissapointed heart. For many unwanted things can grow on the windows of one’s soul when the cares of life demand your concern. And though I have come here for clarity of direction, to wipe the window clean, what I find is the eyes of a living Mystery looking back at me and leading me into depths of faith unfathomed where I must go and leave my pre-packaged questions and answers behind.
Indeed the day of solitude quickly passes, and as night comes again I heed the primordial call to rest, having no idea of the oncoming gift (consolation) that lies in store for me the next morning…