What is it about life that makes it so impossible to focus? I mean about priorities, relationships, perspective. Our ambitions and projects seem to steer us away from the deep inspirations that flow from our core in a never ending always uphill battle. And yet I now painfully know my limitations. I cannot remold myself to ignore every rabbit trail idea that flips through my head nor push away the struggle to answer every question that would lead me away from the quiet for which I so long.
I can only wait for those rare moments when death stares me in the face and reminds me that he too will knock on my door. Those moments seem to multiply as age grows shorter and the lights of those I love get snuffed out. When I think of dying, I do not struggle; I simply get sad. I do not want to leave this earth yet, but the journey to eternity plays no favorites. I simply am bound to this earthly tent for now and must follow the Mystery’s unfolding footsteps.
Yet, on days when I loose sight of the end, when I squander my priorities and lock myself away from the ones seeking to give me their love, only one powerful tool remains: appreciation. Try it. Appreciation turns disappointments into opportunities for formation, projects into inspirations, and the darkness of drudgery into a reminder that this could be my last moment or week to smell the beautiful fragrances of cherishable life.